Improving Listening Skills – Learn the Art of Effective Communication

The habit #5 of "7 habits of highly effectively people" by Steven Covey speaks about the principle of seek first to understand, then to understood. It is a very critical piece in developing interpersonal skills. No one like people who talk too much and never listen!

"Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand." ~ Anonymous

1) Genuinely care for the person or issues

Or care for the issues that he/she is fighting for. If you are not passionate about the person or the issues that he/she fights for, it will be difficult to maintain the level of commitment to really listen!

"To listen well, is as powerful a means of communication, to influence as to talk well, and is as essential to all true conversation" ~ John Maxwell

2) Sincerely listen to the unsaid words and body language.

Observe the body language - what’s being said with emotion and body language. It is not about the word s that the other person is saying but making sure you understand the total message sent.

3) Make conscious effort to listen.

Actively listening, ask questions, and responds appropriately during the conversation. Respect the speaker by allowing the person to finish speaking and avoid interrupting him/her!Listening takes a lot of concentration and determination; it is so easy for us to be distracted during the conversation. Don’t let your mind wander off during the conversation!

4) No judgments

Keep your opinion to yourself unless being asked for. Everyone is different and entitle to have different opinion. If you must give an opinion, give it respectfully. Treat others the way you want to be treated. So, give him/her the respect he/she deserved.

A good listener tries to understand what the other person is saying. In the end he may disagree sharply, but because he disagrees, he wants to know exactly what it is he is disagreeing with. ~ Kenneth A Wells

5) Openness and honesty in communication

Don’t pretend, people can detect insincerity even through the phone. Be open in communication. If you don’t agree to the speaker’s opinion, you can respectfully say so. People appreciate honesty especially in this modern world – where honesty is a rare commodity. You will go very far with sincerity, honesty and openness in any relationship.

6) Trust

Trust is a cornerstone of communication and relationship. Without mutual trust, there is no relationship. Keeping to your words and don’t gossip. Trust is the expectancy of people that they can rely on your word. It is built through integrity and consistency in relationships. Trust is a rare commodity, if you destroy it; there will be no turning back!

SINCERE, you have to care deep enough to be able to see beneath the obvious. Without sincerity, there is NO way you could really listen! Effective listening starts from your heart!

For other reading, read more in Personal Growth - Emphatic Listening.



Back to Top

You're viewing the improving listening skills info page, click here to go back to the Home Page