Dealing with Difficult People – Are You the Difficult One? (Series 2)

Think the world is so full of difficult people ….. and the world just go against you? Did you realise that you have very few (if any) friends at all? Does it seems that you cant get along with everyone? In dealing with difficult people – funny how it could be you being the difficult one?

If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, you'll have to consider that maybe you are the difficult person. It's easy to blame conflicts on the other guy or circumstances, but saying it’s the other person's fault doesn't necessarily make it so!! Before you point your finger, you should take a look at yourself.

In dealing with difficult people, maybe you are the difficult person? "Nah, that’s impossible?!" you said. Maybe not, ask yourself the below questions to evaluate whether you are the B-I-T-C-H.

1. Do a self reflection and evaluate your own actions and behaviors.

Self-examination is always difficult and it need courage to be totally honest about yourself and courage to face it, but it can be extremely worthwhile. Some of the example of questions you can ask yourself

• Ask yourself if you are judgmental. Are you quick to dismiss others’ thoughts and opnions? Judging others is an easy way for you to feel superior.
• Has anyone ever told you that you never listen? When someone is speaking, do you interrupt, or do you change the subject and head off in another direction without allow the person to finish first? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, quit talking and start listening.
• How tolerant are you? If you think you are the only one is right, maybe you are far too intolerant. People who are open to new ideas and different ways of doing things are generally happier and better liked than their counterparts.
• Don’t respond harshly. Avoid from responding to email one day before sending it, bite your tongue before lashing out, take deep breaths, count to 10, and consider your next move. Slow down before you regret it later!

These aren't the only areas in which you should evaluate yourself. However, they can provide a good starting point. Depending on your responses, you'll find yourself asking additional questions that will help you clarify areas in which you're difficult.

2. Ask close friends to assess your character and behavior.

The next thing you can do is talk to close friends and ask for their honest assessment of your character and behavior. Set an objective mind, the truth can be hurtful so prepare yourself first. An honest feedback is very valuable, only a great close friends can give you a honest feedback. Therefore, no matter how hurtful you are, remember to keep your emotional in check. The information you glean can be extremely valuable. View it as such, and learn from it.

3. Put yourself in someone else's shoes.

Another thing you can do is to put yourself in someone else's shoes to try to determine the other person's perspective of you. As you assess yourself through someone else's eyes, write down the mannerisms you have that might annoy that person. When you put yourself in someone else's shoes, the information you learn from the experience won't necessarily be accurate, but it will give you some perspective. If you are the other person, would you like the way you be treated?

If the dealing with difficult people assessment shows that you are indeed the difficult person to deal with, you can choose to change. If you've been tough to live or work with in the past, you can make a change and start afresh. Nothing is impossible!

You can read another related article on managing difficult people here.

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