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Building Trust – It Starts with You Today!
Think about a person you trusted – think about why do you trust him/her? What are the elements drawn you to trust this person? Why is this person worthy of your valuable trust? What is it you are willing to entrust to them that you consider valuable? What are the key criteria in building trust?
When you trust someone, you make yourself vulnerable. You may risks your money, job, promotion, belief, or reputation, happiness or well being! Whatever you choose to make vulnerable to the other’s actions, you do so because you believe their actions will support it or, at the very least, will not harm it.
Trust is fundamental to our sense of safety, autonomy and dignity as human beings. It is also an integral part of every relationship we have. When we trust someone we feel safe to share what is important to us including our thoughts, ideas, efforts, hopes, and concerns. When others trust us they reciprocate in kind. It doesn’t mean we always agree, just that we listen to, respect, and value what each other has to offer. In fact, trust allows us to disagree, debate, and test each other’s thinking as we work together to find ideas and solutions. Having work relationships built on trust allows us to get better, faster results, with less stress. "If you don't trust people, people will not trust you." ~ Lao Tzu The below languages of trust are representative of important criteria in building trust. Without one of these criteria, the trust is lost!
Sincerity
- You must have the other person’s interest at heart. Genuinely interested in another person’s affair, no pretense!
- Accepts the person just the way he/she is. Listen without condemnation or judgment. People appreciate, respect and value others who are great listeners. Everyone needs at least one person with whom they can openly and unashamedly discuss every little detail – happenings, desires, fears – of their life, whether it is from the past, present, or future and to be accepted unconditionally!
- Effective learning. Trust starts with conversation (relationship) and understanding. If you don’t listen, you will not reach the level of trust you desired to have. Refer
Empathy Listening
and
Improving Listening Skill
for further reading.
- Provide a safe environment for them to openly share their thought and feeling.
- Make them felt valued and appreciated as person/friends/colleagues.
Consistency
- Your words and actions must align
- Always maintain your integrity regardless of the pressure and circumstances
- Honor your words
- You must always deliver to what you promise; therefore never over-promise or over-commit
Reliable
- Reliable. Make sure you are a reliable source of information or a reliable help when in need.
- Proven track record of consistency and reliability will help you to establish more trust. The more you have proven yourself, the more trustworthy you are to the other person.
- Have high commitment to follow through with your words. If something has changed/altered which prevents you to keep your words, make sure all parties are informed.
- "We are in this together"! Enforce the message of we are in this problem together is key in building trust, and we will work this out together instead of this is your problem, and I will stand here while you sort out the issue.
Be careful of your words. Simple words, but big impacts! Your word is a representation of who you are to others. Conscious or unconsciously, people measure you by the consistency of your words against your actions. So, beware of your words and actions. It can build or destroy your credibility. Trust, once established, goes a long way! Trust is the fundamental of interpersonal skill and it is the end goal of interpersonal skill. With trust, you can’t go wrong in interpersonal skill. If someone said – he trusts you with his life, congratulation, you have indeed reached the peak in interpersonal skill ladder!
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